The above lyric from the Dance Hall Crashers. :) Got to listen to that while driving home from jennifaerie's last night. Had a great time, Jen, thanks for having me up! :) Hope the Aqua Teen movie was okay.. We could have shut it off after the singing snacks at the beginning, that was really the only part I thought needed to be watched. :) Too funny. "Indecent exposure is a class two feeeloooonyyy!!!" *lol*

So My brother in-law in-law (does that work? Dan's sister's hubby) posted a pic of the two of us from when we were in Disney up on his Facebook page, and it's a good one. Click here to see it! :) I'm not sure exactly where we are, but I know we were in the Magic Kingdom, given what shirt I have on. I got a high five from a dude at It's a Small World for wearing that shirt, and another positive feedback from somebody else at the Jungle Cruise. :) I have to say it was definitely a better trip than our honeymoon was. There were no tears. There were blisters on the feet, but no craziness like last time. Not on my part, anyway. *lol*

And we found out that Dan can just join the Masons! His Grampy was a Mason, and his Grammy was in the Eastern Star(s?). He thought you had to be approached by them, because they're all about being a secret society and whatnot. But they had an ad on TV a few days ago, and it was all, "Wanna be a Mason? Ask a Mason!" So that's cool. He's been talking about this for years. Good for him! :)

I haven't heard anything from the chocolatier place. Mom says I ought to call them. I put in an online application for Retail Data LLC, which Dan works with some people who work with them as a secondary job. It's basically price checking for different stores. If one store is selling vacuum A at a certain price, I'd go around with my scanner and hit a bunch of other stores selling the same vacuum and see what other prices it might be going for, see if they're being competitive, send them the info so they can decide if they need to lower or raise the price. I put in for that on Thursday. Haven't heard anything there, either. It would be cool. Shopping, but not really.

So we've had the Geothermal guys coming here at 8am since Tuesday. Four days. My normal thing is to stay up until like 3 am and get up when Dan comes home, about 10:30. Nap a bit when he naps. So them coming here 2 and a half hours earlier than my normal wake-up time, has been a bit trying for me. I've had to make a conscious effort to stop watching stupid TV, or stop reading my book (which, I was in the middle of a really good one- The Host by Stephenie Meyer..) and go to bed at a decent hour so that I can wake up by 7:30 in case they got here early.

So the guys are finished here until Tuesday at the earliest. And as Dan was leaving for work just now, I made a little comment of, Yay, I get to sleep in today! And he's all, Yeah, you get to sleep in for a change..

You know what? I am freaking tired! Maybe he can just take off to the hammock when we have strangers in our house and take a leisurely nap, or go to bed when they're working in the basement, but I can't do that! And yes, I got sucked into "just one more chapter" last night and ended up finishing my book at about 4 am, when I had to be on my feet at 7:30 because I *needed* a shower today before they got here, so I only had like minimal sleep and that wasn't the brightest thing to do, but fuck! I need to get doing *something* so he'll get off my ass about this.

I burst into tears. He said, wait, you know that's not the way I meant it, you know I was just joking, right? And of course I said yes.. Because I'm sure he didn't *really* mean it that way... My god, why is he so effing insensitive?

Because I had to log onto our bank account yesterday, when I was doing FAFSA crap, and had a bit of a shock as far as what was in the checking account. I should have been expecting what I saw. If I've expected X amount to be in there on any given week, and now that there's no more Y amount being direct deposited for my severance, why should I expect X amount to be there still? Of *course* it's going to be at Z amount now.

The good thing is, our savings is looking pretty good. We have a small CD that we originally set up to help fund the trip to England, but Lance and Penny made it so affordable that we didn't need to crack into it at all. So there's that plus a decent regular savings account, but the checking is just looking..

Well, ok. Honestly? It's looking fucking fantastic. Compared to when *I* was doing the bills? It's a dream!

But. But. The reality of my severance being gone, and the scare we already got when my Unemployment was first up and I had to reapply and cross my toes that that was going to be ok... If we do end up having to rely on just Dan's salary.. Will we be able to make it? Can I afford to do college?

And on that note, we brought the smart car up to be upgraded today. They did something to bring the OS up to speed with the '09s, make the transmission smoother, something, and they swapped out the battery with a higher-capacity battery.

So Dan says while they're doing that, why don't we head over to CCRI to talk to somebody about medical transcription, see what it would cost to do this through a community college instead of through Kaplan for $31K. And we get there, and the Knight Campus is just such an industrial eyesore, it makes me ill to look at, let alone walk up to and enter. And we're walking in, and Dan looks back at me and asks if I'm ok. And I can feel my throat closing up and my eyelids starting to prickle...

And instead of freaking out, or throwing a fit, or anything else, he pulled me out a chair at a table in the lobby, and we sat down for a few minutes. I told him I just wasn't prepared to talk to anybody today. I think I need to take another half a Zoloft for that. I don't know if it's the whole college is a scary thing thing, or if it's that damn building, but there is no way I could talk to anyone today. So we leave.

He just asks me not to go with Kaplan, if I can talk to someone at CCRI and maybe do this for a tenth the cost. Yes, absolutely! If I don't have to talk to them today? Absolutely! Especially since medical transcription is kind of a throwaway "hey, what about this?" idea for me to try out as far as getting a job doing.. And if I'm not really *feeling* it, then what the hell am I doing, picking Kaplan over CCRI?

But so I was happy because I didn't feel pressured to just go and talk anyways, and he was happy because I didn't force myself to go because I thought he wanted me to, and a good time was had by all. :) Thank yous from both parties.

And then we went to the mall and found out what time Wolverine was playing, stopped in at the Cox Cable store and picked up a new remote because ours was not working well anymore, hit the food court quick before the movie, went and saw the movie, picked up the smart car, and came home. :D

And then I tried to decide whether to go out to Knit Wits' free knitting night, where my cousin Susan and Gordy go, and have been asking me to go there... But I didn't. And I don't know why. I mean, I know why, it was because Dan was still awake. And I wanted to spend time with him. That's gotten to be a bad habit lately. I can't remember the last time I went out anywhere social without him.. Except to Brytne's that last time.. Am I just being lazy? Is that all it is? Or is there something more actually wrong with me?

So I decided to mail my application letter and resume to the state court job people instead of faxing it. One, I don't have a fax, so we have that online fax thing, which is just sending Word documents to a fax machine. So I worry that it would come over the fax with all the formatting and extra stuff and just look stupid.

But I coordinated all of it to be the same font,and I even figured out how to print up an envelope on the printer, and used the same font for that, too. All we have for 42¢ stamps is Nutcracker ones from xmas, so I used an old 41¢ Flag stamp and a 2¢ Native American jewelry stamp instead.

So anyways. It's 2 am. I have my envelope stuffed. I get on my Crocs-sans-holes, in case it's still raining, and go outside. Close the door behind me. And turn the handle. And realize I locked it. Locked myself out at 2 am. With nothing on me but a lighter. Fuck!

I check the back door, just in case, but no. Then the secret fake rock where once upon a time we kept a spare key. Operative words being Once Upon A Time, of course. Is there any way the front door can be jiggled unlocked, maybe? Nope. Ooh, but I do have a window open on the front porch. And hey- that little flappy doodiddle thingy that keeps the screen in place isn't properly latched. Maybe???

Yes! I think I broke a couple flappy doodiddles, and maybe wrenched the screen a bit more than normal, but I got in the house!! Yay!! And I don't *think* I woke anybody up, to report a break-in...

I hope this job doesn't continue to be a pain in the ass. *lol* Dan has already suggested that I may have to give up tennis. *pout* That would suck. We didn't when we were in VT last week, and I had *such* a hard time sleeping.

So Brytne bombarded my email inbox with websites and job postings and all kinds of crazy stuff, and one of them really stood out: This One. It's for a State Job! Ack!

I know I can do it, but can I write a good enough application letter to sell myself to them? I really don't know. I tried writing one up just now, and had a major brain block. Brytne said she'd read it for me, so I sent it to her. She's going to laugh at how short it is. But my brain just isn't working! I can't think of how to get the point across that dude, I CAN *DO* THIS JOB!! without slipping out of professional mode.. Not that my professional mode is all sorts of polished and awesome. Ah well.

I also put in for a job on Craigslist last night, transcribing a morning radio show. :) It sounded like a cool gig, but I didn't include my resume in my email, because of getting suckered before, and I worry that if it *is* a legitimate job op, that that may have killed my chances. *sigh*

In completely friggin' *AWESOME* news, my sister Rachel got hooked up with a Christian recording company, Hosanna Integrity! right there in Seoul! She'll be singing Korean praise & worship songs that will be translated into English (she'll sing the English translations, of course), they'll record them in Korea, send them off to the main Integrity people in the US, and Bam! She's got a CD!

Now, I don't know if she'll be the next Amy Grant or just a nameless, faceless voice #632 track that they'll be sticking in with 900 other people, but she's super-psyched, and feeling really blessed right now. :)

Had a minor meltdown tonight. Because of the notice of the end of my unemployment checks, Dan said, "So it's all on me, now, huh?" And I *know* he was joking. I know it. But it cut. I am *so* grateful for the letter notifying me that I can put in for an extension, for 20 more weeks of Emergency unemployment.

And I started to feel like a failure. Like I was Job or something. Do well at life, and God just lets shit fall on you when you're on top of things. I mean, I *know* what I've dealt with, what I'm going through is absolutely nothing compared to what others have gone through, *are* going through. I'm just moping. Wallowing. I'm sorry.

And I told Dan that he needed saving. From me. Because I'm unemployed. Because I'm a big old sucking black hole sitting on his couch, and God just lets shit fall on me. Or around me, at least. So if he's nearby, he's getting splattered. Or freaking nailed. And I illustrated with whirling arms and swooshing, shlurking noises. He said I was cute. I told him I was serious. And I got serious. and became seriouser and seriouser until I was crying, thinking about what a freak I am...

Ugh. I need to get a job. I need to get a job. I need to get a job. I need to get a job.

And here I was, thinking about maybe possibly cutting down on my crazy meds. Not gonna happen, not now.

..as a proofreader. I wasn't sure how to seriously say "I don't have any real experience but damn I'm good at it anyway, hire meeee!!!", so I kinda went with a jokey style that might cost me.

*lol* I'm going to create an anonymous antihero persona, a spellchecking menace, who takes pictures of misspelled words or signs with obviously bad grammar, prints them out and corrects them with red Sharpie, and then mails them to the perpetrators! MUAHAHAHAH!!!! OMG, I could be *so* busy with that job.

:P It was a scam. They emailed to say the position was filled, but they have an awesome survey site I can apply to for a nominal fee! Ugh.

I'm not even going to reply to the email. I'm sure the whole proofreading post was a lure for someone like me. And now they have my email address.. Hell, they have my resume, so they have like all my info. Unless they weren't paying attention and deleted it. Ugh. No more. Next time I put in for something on Craigslist, it's just going to be in an email, with "resume to follow". Dammit.

In better news, I found out that Kohl's is selling Birk-style sandals, so I am going to pick some up today. I have to. The ones I have are so worn out that the cork is coming through the soles, and one of the straps on the right one is almost torn all the way through. I've been compensating for that, and so now my foot is all crampy and it hurts. So new sandals! YAY! I hope they fit well and are comfy.

Well, that's what Dan's cooking. :) Hopefully they'll be tasty.

So we got the paperwork in from Ditech for the Big Refinance the other day. We found our credit scores in there, and Holy Crap! We have some crazy stellar credit. Which is really good. Probably helped them overlook me not having a job right now.

I've been asked several times recently how I'm liking my "time off". :P I know Memere and.. whoever else it was that asked were only making small talk, but jeez. I feel like a shmoe already, thanks alot. And with this refinance, I'm starting to get nervous. The mortgage is going up. I mean, no more oil, and our electricity bill is going to be halved, just about. But still.

And we've had this high level of static in the house for a long time. Too long. Last night we were thinking about it, and how the solar guy said that our electricity use seemed a bit high. And we looked to the microwave. We installed it ourselves, it's an over-the-range one, and we had to do some finagling when it came with a plug, and we had nothing to plug it into. So we cut the plug off and hard-wired it in where the old range hood used to be.

But it's done some weird things. Like, if you have one-person-serving size bags of popcorn, and you run one bag using the Popcorn button, and then you throw a second bag int here and hit the popcorn button again, the whole thing turns off. Like it shorts itself out or something. So we just don't do that. It's fine for everything else, hell, we've nuked dishes of vegetables for long periods of time and then turned around and done another dish for another long time, and it was fine. Just not for the popcorn button on self-sized bags.

So anyways, we were thinking last night, what if it's wired badly in a way that spills electricity over into the house, creating the extra static everywhere? Plus making the bill higher than it should be? And Dan happens to work with a guy who's an electrician, so he's going to talk to him when he comes back from his days off, see if he'll come take a look. So that will be good.

So I was looking at a job site a couple days ago, and saw an opening as a Railroad Worker. The description didn't really give good specifics on the job, and this was after I had posted about the cable and phone, as I was getting teary, but before the blowout. So I put in for it. *lol* In the "Objectives" part of my resume, I changed it to read, "Railroad Worker. All the livelong day." Yes, I was being silly. I didn't really think they'd hire me. The website I was applying at, though, was never-ending!

Pages and pages of entering info, even though it was already on my resume... It was just silly. And then I got to the page where they ask for references, and I realize I don't have any. And now I'm thinking I probably *should* have some. But who?

It's probably a bad idea to have family. But when I mentioned it to Dan yesterday, he says I can't use my former boss, either! Even though she had said I could.. I guess I need to email her to get her contact info, if she's even still there anymore.

But I don't know who else... The other departments I used to work for, I don't know if the managers I had there are still there, either.. And it's not like I had outside clients or whatever. I was just the lowly peon.

I don't know!

Because we're finding more and more things that we need to spend money on. The whole Solar-Geothermal-refinancing the mortgage thing, of course. But when I was defragging, I needed to poke something, so I unbent a paperclip a little and left it on the floor. And forgot about it. And then sucked it up in the vacuum. So I'm counting the days until that dies. Because who knows where it may have gotten stuck in the works inside of the vacuum? I can't imagine that it actually made it to the bag...

Then last night, Jay came over and we were sitting watching TV and Dan hooked his computer up to the TV so we could watch David Icke videos off YouTube. And the sound was way too loud, so Dan went to turn it down, and static electrifried the DVD player-slash-sound system. It wouldn't come on. We rigged up computer speakers so we could still watch, but no TV... This morning, it will come on, but the display has all of its pixels lit and trying to push the function button doesn't make the sound work. So we need a new DVD player/sound system.

Dan's talking about having the carpet in the living room and on the stairs ripped out and done over in hardwood. Not that that has to happen, but still. He's also talking about ripping out the broom closet in the living room and using the space for a wood stove. Except where do we put the broom and vacuum? The crap that's on the upper shelf? And what about the chimney? Geothermal guy wants to use it as a "chase" to bring his ductwork and stuff up to the attic, I can't imagine it would be safe to have an actual chimney flue stuffed in next to that...

And he also wants to cancel the cable and the phone, and buy an antenna and a Magic Jack. Which means we'd have to have one computer plugged in at all times, in case we got a phone call. The website says that it takes voicemails and can do call forwarding while the Magic Jack is unplugged, but still. I'd rather just have a normal landline! :(

I was outside looking for Jack yesterday (yeah, he's still letting him out, grr), and Robert was scooting himself across the yard. So I looked, and he is *raw*. So I'm worried that he's sick and that'll be another bill...

I don't know, maybe it doesn't add up to much. It seemed like it last night. Especially when my bottle of Mudslides wouldn't open, no matter what we did, and when Dan brought down a can of Static Guard to spray on the chair he was sitting on, and it wouldn't spray..

Yeah, doing laundry. :P We had a Rock Band night last night, and Dan had picked up Rock Band 2 (just the game), so we had some new songs to play. So that was cool. Plus we imported over the songs from the first game as well. I had checked out some of the songs before people came over, and of the ones I did on Medium, I didn't get less than 98%, and got 5 stars on all of them. *blink* So yeah.

We did fairly well, unlocked some new songs, and my throat was fried by the end of the night, as usual. *lol* And Maija! She was playing on easy, but she was doing really well!!

Got an email from Cherise today. She was canned before I was. She says that we were let go because the executive director didn't want to let go of some of his cronies, and he had to make cuts somewhere, so he decided to cut us. What the hell was he thinking. Typical, though. She also said that the Friday that I got canned, he had a meeting with the remaining people, telling them that they were going to call us back and ask us if we wanted our jobs back. WHA? As he's kicking me out the door, he's telling them that? I mean, literally, He took my keys and badge and I peeked into the conference room and said goodbye to them before he walked in and started that meeting. WTF?

Eh, back to the laundry.

I haven't been doing much, now that there is no work to go to. I get woken up at my usual wake-up time by the cats, though, who are doing the pee-pee dance, so that's normal. I am doing my best to keep Jack indoors, and it's working so much better now that I'm actually home to enforce it. *lol* Dan would get home and be swayed by his poor little "Eep-eep!" that passes for a meow, and let him out. But not me, oh no. :) I want to give him a bath, actually. He's been covered in ticks, and it would be good if we can bathe them away.

Hrm. Got the towels washed, dried, folded, and put away, got jeans in the washer, a flannel sheet in the dryer (going to put clean sheets on the bed later and that will be the "blanket"), put out the trash... Even got on the Unemployment website and got that squared away. Working on the print server, but I'm not sure if I want it to be "wired" or "wireless", as maybe we want it plugged into the router, but would that be wired? If both laptops are wireless from it all? I dunno.

Probably going to go visit my parents and Cora next month at some point. Mom said maybe I could drive down with them when they went after coming up for xmas, and then fly home after that. I dunno. It's going to be weird, having all holidays and stuff off to be able to go places. Auntie Ros'z had invited us over the Saturday after Thanksgiving, and now I can go.

Dan keeps saying that he could get used to having me home in the mornings to come home to. I'm just hoping I can keep busy and not get bored. Or feel like it's expected of me that I clean and whatever. I got like that when I was unemployed between when I worked at the gas station and when I got hired at Foxwoods, and it wasn't pretty. The apartment suffered, big time. I should probably say something to Dan.

It's not easy, though. I wake up about the time he gets home from work, and either he wants to hang out, or sleep. Not very conducive to cleaning and taking care of shit. Ah well. At least, I guess everything except vacuuming is pretty quiet.

Doot de dooo....